Mungojerrie and Rumpelteazer
1 min to read
416 words

Mungojerrie and Rumpelteazer were a very notorious             couple of cats. As knockabout clowns, quick-change comedians, tight-rope             walkers and acrobats They had an extensive reputation. They made their home in             Victoria Grove— That was merely their centre of operation, for they were             incurably given to rove. They were very well known in Cornwall Gardens, in Launceston             Place and in Kensington Square— They had really a little more reputation than a couple of cats             can very well bear.

        If the area window was found ajar         And the basement looked like a field of war,         If a tile or two came loose on the roof,         Which presently ceased to be waterproof,         If the drawers were pulled out from the bedroom chests,         And you couldn't find one of your winter vests,         Or after supper one of the girls         Suddenly missed her Woolworth pearls: Then the family would say: 'It's that horrible cat! It was Mungojerrie—or Rumpelteazer!'—And most of the             time they left it at that.

Mungojerrie and Rumpelteazer had a very unusual gift of the gab. They were highly efficient cat-burglars as well, and remarkably             smart at a smash-and-grab. They made their home in Victoria Grove. They had no             regular occupation. They were plausible fellows, and liked to engage a friendly             policeman in conversation.

        When the family assembled for Sunday dinner,         With their minds made up that they wouldn't get thinner         On Argentine joint, potatoes and greens,         And the cook would appear from behind the scenes         And say in a voice that was broken with sorrow:         'I'm afraid you must wait and have dinner tomorrow!         For the joint has gone from the oven—like that!' Then the family would say: 'It's that horrible cat! It was Mungojerrie—or Rumpelteazer!'—And most of the             time they left it at that.

Mungojerrie and Rumpelteazer had a wonderful way of             working together. And some of the time you would say it was luck, and some of             the time you would say it was weather. They would go through the house like a hurricane, and no             sober person could take his oath Was it Mungojerrie—or Rumpelteazer? or could you have             sworn that it mightn't be both?

        And when you heard a dining-room smash         Or up from the pantry there came a loud crash         Or down from the library came a loud ping         From a vase which was commonly said to be Ming— Then the family would say: 'Now which was which cat? It was Mungojerrie! AND Rumpelteazer!'—And there's             nothing at all to be done about that!

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Old Deuteronomy
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359 words
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